Dating and going to job interviews have so many similarities. Many clients ask me why they find themselves getting so emotional and even crying if they don’t get a job offer. When you put yourself out there, whether on a date or for a job interview, rejection hurts. We try so hard and we really really hope they like us. In a perfect world we would all find our one true love and have jobs/careers that we love. Until then I guess we have to go on horrible dates and endure fake interviews.
The Date Rollercoaster
When you’re getting ready for a date (I am only speaking from experience so this is from a girls perspective) so many things are going through your mind.
Maybe you’re shocked that this date is even taking place. Maybe you loved this guy from a far and finally after trying to get him to notice you, he finally does and asks you out on a date. You’re now just driving yourself crazy with planning your outfit (rain outfit vs. non-rain outfit). How are you going to do your hair? How are you getting to your date? Is he picking you up or will you meet him there? Is the date during the day or night? What will you talk about? Do you know any jokes? What are you going to eat? (make sure whatever it is it doesn’t blowt you or give you gas 🙂 ) etc. Either way you cannot control your excitement and you can’t even think straight.
On the day of the date you’re a nervous wreck. You can’t seem to stop sweating. Your hair is not at all what you pictured it would look like and your outfit you chose or bought is just ok. Your confidence is shaken and you’re not sure he will even like you. You’re now even thinking twice about this date and are considering that this might be a big mistake.
Once the butterflies in your stomach stop punching each other and settle down you realize that you’re on your date. You’re not sweating that much and he complimented you on your outfit. Your confidence starts to rise and you notice that both of you are having a good time. The date turns out to be a lot of fun and you’re home now.
This is the most dangerous time of the evening. You’re left alone with your thoughts. You’re now replaying the whole date and taking it all apart like a bomb squad takes apart a bomb; meticulously. You’re too hard on yourself and now believe he will never call you again. You call your friends and share your story. They all give you advice but in the end they weren’t there and you feel don’t understand all the little messages you believe he sent. The time from the end of the date to the next time you hear from your date is the longest distance of time ever felt. You’re not eating well and you’re feeling sick. Days pass and no word from your date. 2 weeks pass and you can’t think of anymore good excuses why he couldn’t get a hold of you. You’re devastated. You cry. You find yourself back on the market and start your search all over again.
The Interview Rollercoaster
When you get ready for an interview many things are going through your mind.
You are shocked that you finally got an interview because you have been applying to what feels like 1000’s of job applications. You now have to do some homework and research the company. You applied to so many jobs and it’s actually hard to remember which job this is for and if you’re actually really interested in working with this company. You read over your resume and the job description and wonder why you even applied to this job. You feel totally under qualified and feel that you will be humiliated in the interview. You pick out an outfit that you think makes you look professional even though you hate it. It either pinches you in places that it shouldn’t or just isn’t that flattering. Overall, you are excited because this might be exactly what you need to jump start your career.
On the day of the interview you are a nervous wreck. You can’t seem to stop sweating. Your hair is not at all what you pictured it would look like and your outfit you chose or bought is just ok. Your confidence is shaken. You meet the recruiter and the hiring manager and start to feel less nervous. You start to talk about yourself and are nervous that you are rambling on. They start asking you interview questions and since you’ve heard them all before you have the perfect answer to all them. You’re feeling good even confident that the interview is going well. Some stories you shared even got a laugh and the interviewers are impressed with your experience and skills. You ask them some questions before the end of the interview and then the recruiter thanks you and walks you out.
On the way home you’re buzzing with excitement because they told you that they are looking to fill the position soon, ask for your references and tell you that you should hear back from someone in a few days. You get home and out of the uncomfortable clothes, which now doesn’t look or feel that bad on. You start envisioning your life at that company. You can see yourself paying off all your student loans because they offer you a great salary and life is good. The next day you send the recruiter a Thank You email. A few days pass and no word from the company. A few more days pass and still no word. You start to worry so you email the recruiter and ask for an update. The recruiter doesn’t respond. 2 weeks pass and you get a rejection letter. You’re devastated. You cry. You find yourself back on the job market and start your search all over again.
At the End of The Day
We always look back on the bad dates and either laugh or wonder why we decided to say, do certain things or where certain outfits but we never regret the date. We need to change the way we think of job interviews. Just like dating we want to find people that challenge us and like us for who we are. Sometimes we apply for jobs that we know we are unqualified for but we are looking for a challenge. Sometimes we apply for jobs that we know we are overqualified for but we just want a little bit of a change. An interview is something you should never regret. You should apply to all the jobs that interest you and prepare the best that you can for each of them. Like roller coasters in a theme park, some are fun to ride, some are scary and some just make you sick but you never regret how you spent the day because you had fun.
Have you check out the job board?